Cinema Madness

In the middle of a rather pleasant evening I found myself describing to my friend the movie Teeth.  With potentially the worst plot ever, it is hard to believe that this idea had enough people get on board to make it a reality.  I would've liked to hear that pitch.  Unfortunately, this is not the only terrible movie premise of this day and age.  It really is quite mind boggling how the heck some of these films got produced:

Teeth
Plot: Dawn, the unfortunate star in this travesty, grew up near a nuclear power plant.  As a result she has a rare mutation, Vagina Dentata (teeth in her vagina).  This set of vaginal teeth is controlled primarily by her emotions, and throughout the movie there are several "wrong-doers" that suffer Dawn's vagina's wrath.  In the end, she uses her mutation as a way to rid the world of sexual abuse.  Her first intentional victim: her stepbrother who is a perverted punk.  In what may be the most ridiculous scene of the movie, she has sex with him, bites off his penis, spits it out (if you can call it that) on the ground where it is promptly EATEN BY HIS DOG.  Pardon my language, but WHAT THE FUCK?!  Watch out world, we have found our next great heroine.

Ridiculous.  Unfortunately, I can say I have seen this train wreck in its entirety thanks to my dear friend Tim.  While mildly hilarious and highly disturbing, I can't help but wonder who in their right mind dreamed up this disaster of a movie. Not to mention, the use of the tagline "every rose has its thorn".  Poison.  Really?  


One Eyed Monster
Plot:  Starring porn stars Ron Jeremy and Veronica Hart, this film takes place in some secluded area in North Carolina.  The crew is working on filming a porno.  During a break from filming, Ron Jeremy gets hit by a shooting star (a direct shot to his penis) and in the following scene his penis, now possessed by a sex-hungry alien, detaches itself, leaving Ron for dead.  It runs rampant mass murdering the members of the cast and crew through various forms of essentially rape.  The survivors soon realize that after the aliens climax it is at it's weakest and they construct a plan to guide the penis into a neuro-tactile simulator and then circumcise it with an ax during its 'refractory period'. 


Preposterous. Not only is Ron Jeremy largely repulsive (keep in mind this was filmed in 2008), but there is no way someone could be involved in this production and 1. take it seriously or 2. not regret their choice in said involvement. 

Rubber

Plot (from wikipedia): In the California desert, a tire comes to life and embarks on a killing spree as an audience watches the events unfold through binoculars. The tire kills by vibrating intensely and psycho-kinetically causing people's heads to explode. Settling into an obscure, desert town, the tire finds a woman that he is interested in. A sheriff investigating the murders is inside and outside the diegesis, sometimes participating in the narrative action and sometimes commenting on it.

Meanwhile, an accountant is ordered by his master to feed the audience a poisoned turkey, but the man in a wheelchair survives, as he doesn't eat any of the turkey, so the accountant tries to poison him with more food. When the food is turned down, the accountant eats it himself, and dies from the poison.

In the end, the tire is destroyed, but then reincarnated as a tricycle, and destroys the man in the wheelchair, causing him to explode entirely. The tricycle recruits several tires and rolls to Hollywood, where the film concludes.

Honestly, I don't understand what I just read.  Those crazy French.

The Day of the Dolphin

Plot:  A brilliant scientist trains his pair of dolphins to speak and understand English.  They are stolen and he discovers the kidnappers are trying to further train the dolphins to carry out a political assassination by having them place a limpet mine on the hull of the yacht of the President of the United States.

This may very well be a brilliant idea actually.

Demon Island

Teens trapped on an island are haunted by a demon hidden inside...a pinata.

Enough said.  Festive?

 While doing a little research I also happened upon some fairly fantastic movie taglines:

"Science created him.  Now Chuck Norris must destroy him."  - Chuck Norris, the official badass.

"He was dead... but he got better."

"The only thing more terrifying than the last 12 minutes of this film are the first 92."

"Anna Planned To Propose To Her Boyfriend On February 29th. This Is Not her Boyfriend."

 "Die Harder."

"Unwittingly, he trained a dolphin to kill the President of the United States."

"They came to SpaceCamp with the dream of becoming astronauts. Suddenly...Without warning...Before they were ready...They were launched into space."

"EX-COP. EX-CIA. EX-PLOSIVE." - If it has Burt Reynolds, its gotta be good.

"It happened to someone who knows someone who you know... You're next."

Vintage (and rather sexist) Ads

The 1930's, the good old days of advertising, when an ad just wasn't an ad unless it came with a heavy dose of sexism.  While perhaps these are rather offensive and demeaning, in this day and age I can't help but find them absolutely hilarious.

Is this not every woman's dream come true?  Yes- Please do blow large quantities of smoke in my face while I gaze dreamily into your eyes.

I do enjoy cooking...

Shoes, yup that'll do it. 

 That just looks uncomfortable, a shirt and tie in bed?

I know you probably can't read this lavish story about a man trying to convince a woman that the postage meter is far superior to former methods of post, but she doesn't give in until she places a pink bow on the machine to make it "cute" - but the best line: "She acts like an early Christian about to be lunch for a lion."

Valid point.  I would have had difficulties climbing a flimsy rope up the side of a mountain in whatever crazy getup I am sure that woman is wearing.  Perhaps if she had been wearing a Drummond climbing sweater she'd be in better hands.

 Obviously.

 I do think women are generally worse drivers...

Heaven forbid!  

"After one look at those Mr. Leggs slacks, she was ready to have him walk all over her."

This just looks wrong.

Was ketchup not twist off prior?

Was the thought bubble intentionally left blank?

I wonder if anyone used this...

 I just love this one.

"Be the you he likes.  Good to be around any day of the month."  Don't take Midol for your terrible pain, take it so that you can be a little more peppy and pleasant to be around for Mr. Feathered Hair. 

Also, sexism aside, what was soda's thing for babies?

Annnnnnd just to wrap things up, lets throw in a modern day ad:
Dr. Pepper 10, it's not for women.

Catvertising. Yes Please!

John St., an ad agency in Toronto, seems to be getting a lot of buzz through the humorous videos they released this year and last.

Last year they created a case study on how to make Chelsea Bedano's 8th birthday a big hit.  There were many tactics including a pre-party sleepover and a strategic invites to the most popular girls in the class.  Ultimately, it was the mini pony that really made the event memorable.  That Chelsea Bedano is one lucky lady.

Following suit with last years video, this year John St. created a video on catvertising.  This video capitalizes on the extreme popularity of homemade cat videos on the Internet.  Catvertising - it's win win.

While very entertaining, people are downgrading the agencies creativity while pointing out the videos similarity to another youtube wonder that was created a few months prior:

While these videos may seem like a bit of a time sink, they are drawing a lot of attention to the agency as they are being featured by large ad publications such as AdWeek (also my blog - it's a big deal).  Also, they are showing the agencies capabilities and better establishing their overall brand.  Entertaining. Self promoting. Genius?

Not a Bad View

Over the past few weeks or so I have been getting some pretty great shots of the view from my apartment downtown Portland. 

Not too shabby, eh?

A Dose Of Augmented Reality With Your Coffee?

The season of Gingerbread Lattes and Spiked Eggnog Lattes (no Starbucks does not serve this, unfortunately) is upon us.  And what a better way for the company to get an unnecessarily early start on the holiday season than releasing this new AR app this coming Tuesday to go along with their seasonal red cups (November 15).

First off, I would like to point out that the festivities for Christmas seem to be starting earlier and earlier each year, not that I'm opposed, just noting.  I actually saw one of the TV networks have a countdown to the 25 days of Christmas countdown starting on November 20.  A countdown to a countdown. Interesting. Soon we will just bypass Thanksgiving altogether, which would be a shame. 

Anyways, Christmas ranting in the past and my red Starbucks cup and Spiked Eggnog Latte in hand, here is the video of what this app will do and how you can enjoy it for the season!

How it works:
-Download the app
-Point your smart phone at these red cups (or other branded Starbucks objects)
-Watch in SHEER AMAZEMENT as characters come to life and interact with your beverage

You can "collect" all 5 characters to qualify for a prize of some sort and inevitably there is some social media sharing involved. 
 
Unfortunately, I am still stuck in the dark ages with my un-smart phone so I won't be able to enjoy this delightful app, but in the words of Starbucks, "Let's merry."

Skechers BOBS Rip Off TOMS

Skechers recently released a line of new society enhancing shoes, BOBS.  Essentially, Skechers copied the exact same concept as the popular do-good company TOMS: Purchase one pair of shoes and a second pair will get donated to a child in need. 

The problem with this, is TOMS was founded with a strong back story and purpose.  The founder, Blake Mycoskie, traveled for a time in Argentina during which he encountered several barefoot children.  He founded TOMS to benefit these children and the emotional appeal to help a child in need caused TOMS to have wild success.  However, the message of TOMS is still pure and the company does not spend much money on marketing campaigns or other forms of promotion.

With BOBS, I worry that many people will view Skechers recent business decision as a marketing ploy that is unoriginal and a huge rip off, down to their very name: BOBS.  I mean, you can't really get too much closer, one syllable names- BOBS, TOMS, JOES, etc... same difference really.  Not to mention, the BOBS shoe is IDENTICAL to a TOMS shoe, albeit at a slightly lower price point of $42 compared to $54ish for a pair of TOMS.

While I am sure Mycoskie doesn't mind the copy cat as it ultimately is working towards the greater purpose, I think TOMS advocates and the rest of society will view it as stealing some thunder.  I mean, with the exact same design and promotion (buy one, give one) the only market I really see for the new Skechers is to take some of TOMS potential buyers that are perhaps looking for a cheaper model or love the Skechers brand.

Perhaps a far better way for Skechers to help, would have been to find an equally generous way to help those in need that fit their own model and used some originality.  Within 24 hours of releasing this product internet forums were covered with disapproving patrons. 

I will be interested to see if Skechers will be able to do any good with this new product.  I guess any publicity is good publicity?

Google's Email Intervention

Recently Google has begun an email intervention, to switch users from outdated accounts from providers such as Hotmail, Yahoo, and AOL to a clearly superior Gmail account.

Gmail began, as so many other of Google's services, as an invite-only beta program.  Google gives its employees 20% of their work time to work on independent "pet" projects.  And if they like them, they get a test run through invite only beta programs.  Many programs such as Adwords (Gmail delivers text-based Google AdWords ads that are relevant to the content of users' email messages), Music Beta (which if you haven't checked out it is really cool), and the recent Google+ social networking site were created through this flex time.

The Gmail intervention allows users to send their friends/family an intervention email through http://www.emailintervention.com/.

While it seems like everyone I know uses Gmail, Microsoft's Hotmail and Yahoo Mail both currently have more subscribers.  Perhaps this is due to people like me, that keep their Hotmail account around to sign up for things they are not sure they want to get emails from...

Google's Twitter account announced that 100,000 interventions were sent within the first 24 hours.
Microsoft soon retaliated with a video poking fun at Google, in particular Adwords:

It's actually fairly entertaining.

I think this is just another small step in Google's world takeover.

Mano A Mano in El Bano

Wieden + Kennedy has started off the internet duel of the century!  Between new Old Spice guy, Fabio, and old Old Spice guy, Isaiah Mustafa. 

First of all, yes, Fabio has apparently taken over as the new Old Spice guy.  His ads focus on his superiority to old Old Spice guy and involve a lot of hair blowing in the wind and expected bad Fabio acting, or talking, or whatever you will call it.  Although I suppose it is just who he is...

The event began as Fabio challenged Mustafa to an Internet duel Monday morning.

Which was soon accepted by Mustafa.

And so began Mano A Mano In El Bano

Isaiah laid down the rules for the duel:

And so it all began.  The challenges included staring, rap, mad libs, whistle, and pushups contests.

And all the while Fabio and Isaiah replied with youtube videos through the Old Spice channel to twitter followers trying to outdo each other in areas such as leaving a better message, naming a baby, and answering any other question posed to them.

Working out.

 How to get a hot date.

Leaving an out of the office email video.

Overall, I am not super impressed with the duel.  It has received a fair amount of hits (30K + per video), but I am not sure it has hit numbers W+K would brag about yet.  I am not sure if this duel has ended... so perhaps there is more to come?

As for Fabio as new Old Spice guy, I guess it will certainly draw attention, but I think a lot of people will not like this new representative.  I think Isaiah has won a place in people's hearts (or heads at least) as that orginally, refreshingly, quirky, manly man.  And Fabio just can't quite keep up...

Although one thing I don't like about Isaiah's take in these duels.  He has apparently now elevated himself to an unhumanly, godly status.  Which poses the question, could he still be the manly MAN?  He still has some of his randomly put together phrases, but they don't quite have the style they usually do. 

Basically, I think perhaps W+K should have let a good thing die.  But we will see, maybe I will be proven wrong.

Breakthrough Magazine Ads

Print ads are having to find ways to be unique and interesting in order to stand out.  Below are some of the most innovative and interesting magazine ads that are out there currently...

 

This ad for the Peugot's superior airbag system was shown in 50,000 Brazilian Magazines.  When you hit the front of the car on the ad, the airbag slowly begins to inflate.  Check it out below.

The use of QR codes has been increasing in advertisements.  The group Reporters Without Borders ran these ad to show dictator's speaking to media censorship through the voice of the reporters.  It works by scanning the QR code with your phone and placing the phone on the marked off section on the dictator's mouth. 

 This next ad promoted green energy by actually being solar powered!  When in the magazine the ad is just black and white, but when exposed to sunlight it fills with color. I have no idea how one would even go about creating something like this, but it is pretty darn cool.

Danish brewery Carlsberg (the good ole Danes) have created an ad that when appropriately constructed turns into a bottle opener.  The caption is right - this probably is the best ad in the world.

Volkswagen has done a series of creative ads from their quirky lemon ad to their recent"test drive" ad using a smart phone.  This ad follows Volkswagen's trend of being an advertising trendsetter with their edible ad reading:  Eat the road.  Seriously, eat it.  Offering a page constructed of glutinous rice flour, water, salt, propylene glycol, FD&C colour, glycerine.  Maybe not the best tasting thing, but I suppose it won't kill you. 

 Also from Volkswagen is their new Beetle's Happy Pills campaign.

This one reads: Instant cure for cynicism.

WonderBra has an ad out where you can tighten a bra and give a little extra lift in the middle of your reading.

While this next ad is a bit disturbing, I find it oddly hilarious.  A fertility clinic in Australia created this ad that causes the pages in a magazine to stick together.  Once pulled apart a sexy lady in minimal clothing is exposed with a heading reading "Don't waste your sperm" (instead donate to the sperm bank).

Here are some others:

This ad bothers me as it reads Pepsi with a touch of lemon, but the ad is clearly a lime...

Alka Seltzer: Hangover is dangerous

Pringles Hot and Spicy: Balloon

Companies Look to Follow in Old Spice Footsteps

Ever since Old Spice had their campaign with Isaiah Mustafa, the randomness of the manly man has caught on. 

However, while the Old Spice commercial was refreshingly original, these new commercials are starting to wear on people's nerves.

Some companies following suit include:

Edge

Pledge

Dairy Queen

While these commercials are attention grabbing, they can't help but remind me of a rip off of Old Spice every time I see them!

Now That's Stylish! - Huggies

So I had previously heard that Huggies was starting to make "Jeans" diapers.  I thought it was a joke initially, but I recently caught the new commercial for the diaper.

Fantastic right?  This just cracks me up!  These diapers run $19.99 for a pack of between 52-72 (depending on size) which when looking at my very limited research seems very comparable to other Huggies diaper prices. 

Personally, I think these diapers will do well.  With a lot of mom's looking to stay fashionable and wanting the best for their child, these diapers seem like a fun way to set their child apart.  Give them a little extra confidence on the playground.  Also, it seems most other disposable diapers are rather plain in comparison.  One thing that may hurt this denim diaper is that with the recession still hanging around, parents are looking for the cheapest diapers, etc. for their children in order to save some money.

Pioneering Beering

In the 1980's Chuck Hahn founded an Australian beer company, Hahn Beer, with an experimental and innovative style.  Although the brand is now owned by Lion Nathan it has decided to return to its roots and has since created the tagline "Pioneering Beering".  In their latest ad the new Hahn beer is brewed in a very futuristic yet retro brewery where "'super-ness' is brewed into the beer by glam bodybuilders, a heavy-metal drummer, a playboy with a beer-filled plastic tiger, and a bottle-capping ferret, among other characters".   

 For a more detailed look into the ad and the art direction and creation check out: adweek